1. |
Worth
04:10
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WORTH
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI)
What I wouldn’t give to stop the world
To breathe for a while, watch it all unfurl
I move too fast to take it in
Never let it get too far into my skin
What I wouldn’t give to take the time
Do nothing more, no mountains to climb
If I could get my way
I’d love nothing more than to stay here
I’m always thinking, doing, moving
but it’s not much of my choosing
and I don’t know what I’m proving
To you
I wish that I knew how to let go
To just walk away, learn to say no
I have to love myself before it’s too late
Better slow it down, there’s no need to wait
I’m always thinking, doing, moving
This time I am who I’m choosing
Still don’t know what I’m proving
To me
I’m always thinking, doing, moving
This time it is me I’m choosing
Still don’t know what I’m proving
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2. |
Frozen
05:04
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FROZEN
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI)
I see you through the cracks on your surface
The distance between dilutes the purpose
I don’t know how we ended up this way
I don’t know how to reach you when you hide away
But you say stay
It’s been a long cold winter with you here
Right in front of me you disappear
The ice came early in the fall
And now I’m waiting for the thaw
If it comes at all
You’re frozen in and I can’t move
Suspended in time
But you say, “Stay. Stay right here.”
Why do I? You’re frozen
You look me in the eye - but you don’t see
I think you hear me when I talk, but you don’t listen
The days grow longer but I can’t tell
I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself
It’s just as well
You’re frozen in and I can’t move
Suspended in time
But you say, “Stay. Stay right here.”
Why am I? I’m frozen
You’re frozen in and I can’t move
Suspended in time
But you say, “Stay. Stay right here.”
Why am I? We’re frozen
We’re frozen
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3. |
Only Water
03:19
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ONLY WATER
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI)
Ignored expectations and hit the road
Left me to handle all that you owed
And never looked back
You never looked back
It was for the best that you left
No complications, no regrets
But what about me
What about me
I was worried I would be just like you
And suddenly leave for something new
They say blood is thicker
But I got water
I only got water
I never wanted your fists of rage
I spent so many of my days
Trying to hide you
Always needing to hide you
As years went by, I learned how
To swallow my fire and keep you down
But I didn’t forget you
No, I never forgot you
I was worried I’d be just like you
With an anger too hot to subdue
Maybe blood boils thicker
But I’ve got water
I’ve only got water
This isn’t how it’s supposed to be
It took so long for me to see
It’s just part of my story
It won’t define me
You won’t define me
You didn’t call, you didn’t write
I didn’t put up much of a fight
I had moved past you
I moved right past you
And there is so much that’s left to say
But time ran out now it’s too late
It went unspoken
It’ll stay unspoken
While I worried I would be just like you
In the end, I found out, too
They say blood is thicker
But I say water
I only gave you water
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4. |
Gone
04:13
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GONE
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI)
We stare at the moon
We remember time gone by
Stars light the path to memory
All the years still multiply
A life well lived
A life well loved
Will they ever know
What has gone
We take this time around now
We only come together in pain
If I knew that was the last time I’d see you
All the things that I would say
A life well lived
A life well loved
Will they ever know
What has gone
A life well lived
A life well loved
Will they ever know
What has gone
I’ll carry you with me
I’ll remember the memories gone by
I will measure time in before and after
But never be satisfied
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5. |
Through the Threshold
04:29
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THROUGH THE THRESHOLD
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI) and Jennifer Dauphinais (ASCAP)
Shy away from the coldness
Not quite ready for the next war
Try to listen to the whisper
Sayin’, “Just gonna stay the course”
Sayin’, “Just stay true to the course”
It’s you coming through the threshold
It’s you coming to the other side
It’s you going where you want to, honey
Running on your own time
Running on your own time
Shine the only way you’re meant to
Take your body to the shore
Toss your worries in the water
Singing, “Ain’t gonna lie awake no more”
Honey, ain’t gonna lie awake no more
It’s you coming through the threshold
It’s you coming to the other side
It’s you going where you want to, honey
Running on your own time
Running on your own time
And when you find me
I’ll be singing to the moon
I’ll be singing to the moon
Singing to the moon
Singing to the moon
Singing to the moon
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6. |
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YOU READ MY MIND
©Paul Koors, First Robin Music (BMI)
It was 10 am when I hit the edge of town
If I drove any faster I’d fly right off the ground
‘Cause every mile brings me closer to your touch
And every hour shows me time is not enough
With you
You read my mind
Yeah you, you read my mind
You read my mind
When it was time to leave
I didn’t even say goodbye
‘Cause there’s a part of me that’s still afraid to cry
Now every mile takes me further from your grace
And now all I’ve got is this guitar to fill your place
‘Cause you, you read my mind
Yeah you, you read my mind
You read my mind
The longer I lay here the more that it seems
That my reality is caught up with my dreams
There’s gotta be someone up there looking out for me
‘Cause you, you read my mind
Yeah you, you read my mind
You read my mind
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7. |
Safe
04:29
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SAFE
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI)
Why did I wait so long? What keeps me far away?
It’s easy to hide when you’re afraid
Peeking out from underneath the bed
Retreating so far inside my head
I’ve been a refugee from this place
If I dig deep who would I face?
When I look in the mirror, what do I see?
Who is looking back at me?
What makes you safe?
What makes you whole?
Where do you go
When you struggle ‘ the most?
I’m turning to you
I’m turning in to you
I tried running away from myself
I did all I could to be someone else
I didn’t take up too much space
Screaming filled that tiny place
What makes you safe?
What makes you whole?
Where do you go
When you struggle the most?
I turn into you
You turn into me
How much time did I waste while I tried erasing you?
You’ve hid in the darkness, waiting to come through
And when I think I’ve gone as far as I can go
You come back, she comes back
What makes you safe?
What makes you whole?
Where do you go
When you struggle the most?
I turned into you
I turned into me
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8. |
Alright Tonight
04:21
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ALRIGHT TONIGHT
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI) and Kathleen M. Huber (BMI)
Left, right, between - waves crash beneath
One back, one wall - First you think then you try not to fall
Time slipped away, too long to wait
What could you say - Will you ever stay?
Let loose the tie, Let go the night
No need to fight - It’s right, it’s right
It’s alright tonight. Baby, it’s alright with me
It’s alright tonight
Stay here with me, Stay right here with me
Won’t you stay with me tonight
One Army green and neon orange ring
Take as a sign: Leave what was behind
Left, right, between, beta waves beneath
Into this dream, It’s arrived, it’s mine
Let loose the tie, Let go the night
No need to fight - It’s right, it’s right
It’s alright tonight. Baby, it’s alright with me
It’s alright tonight
Stay here with me, Stay right here with me
Won’t you stay with me tonight
Don’t fight the pull when gravity draws in
We’ll find the center this time
You know this can be right, You know you can’t deny
We’re right, we’re right, tonight
Let loose the tie, Let go the night
No need to fight - It’s right, it’s right
It’s alright tonight. Baby, it’s alright with me
It’s alright tonight
Pretend you’re safe with me, Stay right here with me
Won’t you be with me for tonight
Just for tonight
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9. |
All Mine
03:15
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ALL MINE
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI)
I walk these streets in the morning
There’s no one here but me
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking
About the way things used to be
I build walls to give myself space to breathe
So many chances to decide who I should be
I’ve never slowed it down, I couldn’t take the time
But now I’m all mine
I could have guessed I’d like this place
So tired of trying to always win the race
Now that I’m through the woods to the other side
There’s no escape from the corners of my mind
I build walls to give myself space to breathe
So many chances to decide who I should be
I’ve never slowed it down, I couldn’t take the time
But now I’m all mine
I try to contain myself at the seams
Worry creeps around to interrupt my dreams
I still want many things I did before
Somehow, I want more
I build walls to give myself space to breathe
So many chances to decide who I should be
I’ve never slowed it down, I couldn’t take the time
Now, I’ve never been
Now, I don’t know because
Now I’m all mine
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10. |
Again
04:06
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AGAIN
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI)
You called to say you’re sorry
My heart sunk in my chest
It’s all I’d ever wanted
But I could not confess
I’d missed you every day
The years had gone so slow
I was starting to breathe again
How did you know?
There you were again
I was not prepared
You always find a way
There you were again
I thought I had broke clear
My heart was the price I had to pay
I somehow walked away
Shattered and alone
To pick up the pieces left
And find my own way home
Still I can’t help but wonder:
Do you still think of me?
Now that we’ve both moved on
And my heart is free
And there you are again
And I can’t explain
How you still find a way
There you were again
I thought that I had left
My heart was the price I had to pay
Though I’d let you go
Found my heart a home
You’re the scar that doesn’t show
Somewhere deep inside I know
No matter how far I go
You are always there
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11. |
Shadows
03:53
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SHADOWS
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI)
Here I am again
Hoping it won’t be the same this time
Playing out my days
World keeps on spinning while it’s on fire
Will you ease my troubled mind
When it runs away with me
I can’t find the peace I need
When the shadows come take me
Don’t know how to
break free
On the floor again
It holds me steady and I resign
Bones sink further in
Empty weighs heavy on me this time
Will you ease my troubled mind
When it runs away with me
Will you be the peace I need
When the shadows come take me
Can’t see how to
Break free
If I don’t move
I can hear my heart
Something must change
If I’m quiet I’ll see
What I’m afraid to face
Can I ease my troubled mind
When it runs away with me
Can I be the peace I need
When the shadows come take me
And come to break my
Troubled mind
Will run away with me
When I learn to face myself
If the shadows come take me
I’ll learn to just be
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12. |
My Way Home
04:26
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MY WAY HOME
©Jillian Matundan, Keezamonkee Music (BMI)
Collect it all and walk away
Give me good reason to stay
Won’t you meet me in the middle
I’m only asking for a little
Just give me something for my trouble
An ounce of what I’m owed
Come on and meet me in the middle
Help me find my way home
The ground keeps moving below me
My mind won’t let me be
I can’t seem to catch my breath
And I can’t do more with less
Just give me something for my trouble
An ounce of what I’m owed
Let’s meet in the middle
Help me find my way home
I wear my skin like armor, let no one in ‘till you
There’s no around this time, there’s no through
You left me nothing to take, you left nothing behind
I’ll take the rest of me, with no place left to hide
Just give me something for my trouble
An ounce of what I’m owed
I’m going to leave you in the middle
I’m going to find my way home
I’ll find my way home
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Jillian Matundan Reston, Virginia
Jillian Matundan is an award-winning, multi-instrumentalist, singer-songwriter who returned to music in 2018 after a fifteen year break and has been winning awards and audiences with her unique guitar style and warm vocals. in 2020, she released her debut EP, "Hangin' On". She is releasing a full-length album in 2024. ... more
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